Let me clear this up!

Look- By now, you've seen the headlines- you have seen the vicious smear campaign about my recent bathroom "arrest" and I want to clear this matter up, once and for all.

The Megabrad is NOT GAY. I am like Major MegaHetero, yo. Straight Pimpin and shit, got it? Okay, now that we got that established, allow me to explain how the Seattle police misunderstood what was going on late Thursday night in the Space needle's restroom...

I know, it has been "Reported" by the "Media" that I denied everything at first. That was what a smart guy does, right? Deny everything. That's what every lawyer I've ever had told me. So when I said I wasn't at the Space Needle at all, that was just intelligent denial. So here's the deal, me and the boys had a few drinks and headed over to the Needle, you know, lookie for hippies asses to kick and maybe go to the top of the Needle and genuflect about 9-11, and, you know, shit.

I just happened to need to take a whiz cuz of a bladder issue I've had since birth. So the camera recording me going in and out of the bathroom twelve times makes total sense, when you know that! I had drank a sixer of Sam Adams and had to go, nothing weird about that, right?

The above pic IS Me, I know I denied it at first, but hey- LEGAL issues prevented me from admitting it at the time. And I did, look thru the uh gloryhole thing, but that was only an accident because I was trying to read the fine print on some really funny stall graffiti - "Here I sit, all right wing retarded..." when out of the blue- the man in the next stall started doing something strange...

I thought he might be having a heart attack or something, and megaguy that I am, I asked him if I could help.

The transcript sounds bad, in retrospect, but it was totally innocent and appropriate at the time.

The media's report of "Hey, love a strokin, hairy?" is of course, liberal fabrications meant to take down the Megabradster. What I actually said was: "Hey, have a stroke in there?"

And of course when the police showed up, of course they didnt pay attention to the man who might be dying in the other stall- they grabbed me up like some kind of criminal and tackled me to the floor. Which was kind of cool- because you know how I support law enforcement.

So, it's all a big misunderstanding, you see? Of course, you guys understand how the liberal media gets all psycho on us Americans patriots, right? I appreciate the support. In fact, tonight I'm getting everyone together at the local watering hole to drum up some money for my legal defense fund at the Blue Oyster bar downtown. You guys are all welcome to come hang out.

So again- the Media's report was all lies, as you know. I am not Gay. And the two other men that came forward are obviously plants from the conspiracy. And I ALWAYS carry my portable drill with me, doesn't everyone? I'm just a tool kinda guy, you know.

Support the Troops!

Support the Troops! - Keep em in Iraq! If they aren't over there dying, well then guys like me would actually be even MORE SCARED of terrorists!

Support The Troops! Cut their benefits! If they have a lot of benefits, they won't be tough enough to kill the Muslim hordes that threaten our precious oil supply!

Support The Troops! Take away their free speech! When they speak out, it just makes everyone in America question our Decider-In-Chief! We can't have that!

Support The Troops! No damn more laws protecting Whistleblowers in the ranks! If Nancy thinks she can hang with the troops as a soldier, she better learn how to defend herself against rape instead of crying to her superiors when the boys are just being boys!

Support The Troops! Take away ALL Geneva protections. That way we can do whatever we want and we don't have to worry about somebody's panties getting in a wad. Sure that means that our troops won't be protected, but hey, War is Hell, right? How can we get good intel if we can't pull a Jack Bauer on the children of Iraqi civilians? Fuck em they aint even Good Christians like us!

Support the Troops! Lower recruitment standards- empty the prisons! We need more bodies in Iraq. But what we CANNOT have, ever- is a draft. Some people's children just weren't made for war. Like mine.

Support The Troops! Vote Republican. If those damn democrats ever get a President, then we WILL end up losing this war. And sure a lot of American soldiers will live if that happens. But what will they live FOR? Knowing they lost. Better dead in Iraq than alive at home! That's the RNC motto! Fight them there so we don't have to have peace with them here!

Internet loonies

Someone has been calling themselves Megabrad! Gasp! Who would do that?

A friendly little internet wiretapping let me know.

But I am the one and only Megabrad!

If you have any information pertaining to any people who are calling themselves Megabrad, let me know at Megadouchebrad@yahoo.com! If you know any websites they have up, alternate emails, their real names, other internet aliases they are using, or just internet sightings of someone trying to pass themselves off as the baddest Internet badass in the U.S> just email me or leave comments.

This will allow me to confront the MiniMegabrad and challenge him to a Mega Internet duel for rights to the Mega title!

Megabrad is Megabadass!

Hi, Welcome to Megabradland! Home of patriots and asskickers! I hate hippies and commies and all that freedom bullshit! If you love George Bush, sipping champagne at upscale parties, and bombing the shit out of random non-christians just cuz we can- then step on in and party on my Megabrad blog!

I hate fags. I do. I'm serious as a Republican in a public bathroom! If you are a fag, stop reading this blog now and go back to liberal wussville and whine about expensive healthcare! Real Americans dont give a damn about all that pussy shit! We are here to rock the free market, make America #1, and send the U.S. dollar skyrocketing by destroying every last muslim on the planet!

YES this blog is all about U-S-A, strong One-Leader leadership, Wire tapping cuz I don't do anything that God, Jesus, or The RNC frowns upon, and just basically being an online badass because I just dont have enough time to kick ass in real life like I do here.

HOBBIES: The Megabradster likes to party and get down with the ladies. I am currently in between relationships, beautiful blog reading women- so feel free to comment me here or send me a email at megadouchebrad@yahoo.com. Get er done!

I like to put an ass whooping on the many liberals on the internet by hit and run comments on their blogs where I stop in to drop some "Clintons" and some "Fuck you hippie fags" on their asses while they try to deter me with long winded philosophical discussion that doesnt mean nuthin to a no-nonsense badass like me. I'm all about getting up in your blog's face, yo, and just letting those liberals have it, right between the eyes like Cheney on Mad Dog 20/20.

And if you are some left winger who wants to tell me all about the economy, or the global what-ever, or free speech or racism or all that other shit that don't affect me- just keep on cruising past. You don't want none of this, baby. Just skip on by. I'm too much man for all that weak talkie talkie.

Get with the Program World! This is America! I AM AMERICA. This is what America has become! We'll kick your ass and we don't care and we'll torture your ass too and lock you up and throw away the key- No trials for terrorists or anti-Dictator types. George Bush for President For Life and Fuck you if you don't like it.

I AM AMERICA. Got it yet?